Without God's love

Without God's Love for you and I,
The days of the week would have been
Mournday, Tearsday, Wasteday, Thirstday,
Fightday, Shatterday, & Sadday.

So we need to give God the Glory
Who made the days a Blessing to us!
Have a strong faith in Him
that it shall be well with us this year,
No matter how many obstacles
we come across
God is with us.
Offer all our goals/plans this year;
let go and let God in our lives,
With Him, all things are possible

God Bless!

dear dhyames,

it's been a along time din bago naulit ang ganitong letter para sa'yo......i really don't know my feelings right now....ofcourse theres a certain reason for that....ang alam ko lang it started when i read a very inspiring story in the net......minsan nga gusto ko talagang i-post yun dito....kaya lang nag-iisip din ako...kasi diko pa nakwento ito sa mga friends ko.....kahit sa mga taong sobrang close sakin....ang alam lang nila may nabasa ako..yun lang...wala silang alam sa pakiramdam ko at nararamdaman ko...kasi di naman ako nagkukwento sa kanila..minsan kasi i just kept na lang sa sarili ko......kasi kung ikuikuwento ko lang sa kanila sasabihin nila...feeling na naman ako or ilusyunada...sa ngaun isang tao lang ang napagsasabihan ko ng feelings ko......but due to age gap namin di lahat nasasabi ko kasi baka di nya din ako magets or maunawaan...si friend naman kasi may problem din kaya ayaw ko na syang guluhin...yung iba naman masyadong busy and worse reaction naman kung sa iba ako magsha-share........bakit unfair ang world at life sakin...bakit..bakit..bakit.......i'm not looking for somebody...kasi i think diko na kailangang gawin yun...masaya din ako kapag kasama ko mga friends ko...but may mga times nalulungkot din ako...kasi di naman kami laging ganito...marami na ring nadagdag at sabit sa barkada....let say affected lahat kami dahil sa mga bago.....pero alangan namang dina kami tumanggap ng ibang friends...mababait naman kami kahit marami ding nagaglit sa barkadahan namin.....anyway diko talaga kayang sabihin at maipaliwanag ang feelings ko...........until then na lang po sana satin na lang toh.....i love you all!!!

dhyames sarah

HOW TO STAY YOUNG

1. Throw out nonessential numbers.
This includes age, weight and height. Let the
doctors worry about them. That is why you pay "them."

2. Keep only cheerful friends.
The grouches pull you down.

3. Keep learning.
Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening,
whatever. Never let the brain idle. "An idle mind
is the devil's workshop."
And the devil's name is
Alzheimer's.

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh
often, long and loud. Laugh
until you gasp for breath.

6. The tears happen.
Endure, grieve, and move on.
The only person, who is with
us our entire life, is ourselves.
Be ALIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself wit h what you love ,
whether it's family, pets, keepsakes,
music, plants, hobbies, whatever.
Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health:
If it is good, preserve it.
If it is unstable, improve it.
If it is beyond what you can
improve, get help.

9. Don't take guilt trips.
Take a trip to the mall,
even to the next county;
to a foreign country but
NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you
love that you love them ,
at every opportunity.


AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
Life is not measured by the
number of breaths we take,
but
by the moments that
take our breath away.


We all need to live life to
its fullest each day!!

TOMORROW CAN BE TOO LATE...

If you're mad with someone , and nobody's there to fix the situation ... You fix it. Maybe today, that person might still want to be your friend . And if you don't, tomorrow can be too late .
If you're in love with somebody , but that person doesn't know... tell her/him. Maybe today, that person is also in love with you . And if you don't say it, tomorrow can be too late .

If you still love a person that you think has forgotten you... tell her/him. Maybe that person has always loved you. And if you don't tell her/him today , tomorrow can be too late.

If you need a hug of a friend... ask her/him for it. Maybe they need it more than you do. And if you don't ask for it today, tomorrow can be too late.

If you really have friends who you appreciate tell them. Maybe they appreciate you as well. That if you don't and they leave or go far away today , tomorrow can be too late.


If you love your parents, and never had the chance to show them... do it . Maybe you have them there to show them how you feel. That if you don't and they leave today , and then tomorrow can be too late.

Human Recall Notice

The Maker of all human beings is recalling all units manufactured regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart.

This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units.

This defect has been technically termed "Subsequential Internal Non-Morality, " or more commonly known as S.I.N., as it is primarily expressed.

Some other symptoms include:
1. Loss of direction
2. Foul vocal emissions
3. Amnesia of origin
4. Lack of peace and joy
5. Selfish or violent behavior
6. Depression or confusion in the mental Component
7. Fearfulness
8. Idolatry
9. Rebellion

The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is providing factory-authorized repair and service free of charge to correct this SIN defect.

The Repair Technician, Jesus, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. There is no additional fee required.

The number to call for repair in all areas is:
P-R-A-Y-E-R.

Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE procedure. Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, Jesus, into the heart component.

No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Jesus will replace it with:
1. Love
2. Joy
3. Peace
4. Patience
5. Kindness
6. Goodness
7. Faithfulness
8. Gentleness
9. Self control

Please see the operating manual, the B.I.B.L.E. (Believers' Instructions Before Leaving Earth) for further details on the use of these fixes.

WARNING: Continuing to operate the human being unit without correction voids any manufacturer warranties, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list and will result in the human unit being permanently impounded.

DANGER: The human being units not responding to this recall action will have to be scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect will not be permitted to enter Heaven so as to prevent contamination of that facility.

Thank you for your attention!

GOD

PS:* *Please assist where possible by notifying others of this important recall notice, and you may contact the Father any time by "kneemail".

Super Friends

I will always be there for you,
and I hope you will be there for me too,
for our friendship can never be broken,
I will remain loyal through all the good and the bad,
and in the end we will be glad,
because without you I am nothing,
as you are nothing without me,
we fill the space a lover couldn't fill,
for we hold each others secrets that we would never spill,
and the day you're gone, part of me goes too,
because I wouldn't want to be here with out you,

Super friends forever you and me,
nothing could ever change that; it's destiny!

My Light

You know my most intimate mind

My vulnerable side

My gratitude I cannot hide

Embracing My secrets to confide In you

And I can't deny

The change in me

You are a guarantee

To the highest degree

And I am forever grateful

I am forever blessed

With the comfort you suggest

You've always Given me your best

I recall Above all

When I first saw you

I knew You were sleeping

Consumed by walls of white

Yet you were Uniquely bright

Sometimes... Watching the way

You sit and ponder

Laughing as a silly thought Enters you

Your smile explodes and takes flight

Landing on me

And I catch it

Beautiful Lucent Pure Secure My cure... ... you are

Happy Father

I use to call him Daddy
And then just called him Dad,
As I got older I called him 'other things'
When he would make me mad.

He planted me before my birth
and provided for my needs,
He taught me how to ride my bike
Mow the lawn and cut the weeds.

He taught me how to walk, then run
And was my coach when I played ball.
He was not only my coach in sports
But warned me of some of 'life's falls.

Dad also taught me how to fish and hunt
And how to play games when I was young,
He took me out on camping trips
And taught me how to hunt, safely handling my gun.

So Dad, I pray you'll forgive me
For not writing or calling more than I do.
But this is one time of the year
I just want to make sure you know Dad, I LOVE YOU!

A True Father

Most any man can father a child for this we know is true, but to be a good dad there's a whole lot more for all these men to do.
They have to have strength to endure long days even though their bodies be tired, the love in their hearts has to show in their eyes to the child who so admires.
They have to show honesty through each day and show that life is worth living, they have to show caring in all they do in taking and in giving.
Understanding has to be a big part of the father's heart as well, and though he feels pain or hurts at times he may never, never tell.
They have a great laughter that shows in their eyes and comes rolling from within, to light up the faces of each little child as each day draws to an end.
Hopes for today, Dreams for tomorrow is what they must keep showing, and though they grow old they still feel great joy, for the love of their children keeps growing.

Where Are You Papa?

Momma said you left her
When I was still inside of her
She said you never cared
And that I deserved far less.

When I was young
Towing an exploring mind
Sometimes I would pretend
How much you missed me
It was a daydream that felt real to me.

There were days I'd wait at the gate
And everytime a plane passed by
I'd look up in the sky
Wishing it's because of me
You're finally coming home to see.

I grew up not knowing you
Always wondering where were you
I was the target of ridicule
For not having a father to look up to.

I'm now all grown up
Have a family of my own
Most kids have two grandfathers
Mine are blessed with one.

There is one day set aside
For you and all the others
yet-to-be, and already
A very special day to celebrate
Just for being a father.

So here's to you, a heartfelt wish
Everyday and on Father's Day
I send my love your way...
Wherever you are, I think of you
Whatever you do, God Bless you.

Hello Dad

I'm me, not you.
Only I, know the truth.

You can’t see, inside my soul.
If you could, then you would know.

And you wouldn't have said,
those things you did.

Yes, you use to lay me in my, crib.

But that was long, long ago.
Do you know me now? No, you don’t.

I wish you did, I want you to.
So I'm willing to put up with you.

You did me, when I would scream.
Things are different, it would seem.

So, Hello Dad, my hearts here to try.
Maybe we can reconcile?

I love you & need you in my life.
The world's more Beautiful with
our friendship in sight!

Trying to get this feeling again.......

At any moment she’ll be walking through that door
She won’t find me behind it
cause the feeling is gone and
just won’t come back anymore
I work so hard to find it

I’ve been up, down, trying to get the feeling again
All around, trying to get the feeling again
The one that make me shiver
Make my knees start to quiver
Every time she walks in

I’ve looked high, low
Everywhere I possibly can
But there’s just no trying to get the feeling again
It seemed to disappear as fast as it came

Read every book
Look for every meditation and poem
Just to bring home that old sweet sensation
But it ain’t no used to me, trying to get the feeling again

Where did it run to? I thought I’d done all that I could
To keep the love burning
But whatever I’ve done, I just haven’t done it too good
Cause all that’s left is yearning

I’ve been up, down, trying to get the feeling again
Like a bloodhound searching for a long lost friend
Could you help me rediscover
The way to re be her lover once again

Read every book
Look for every meditation and poem
Just to bring home that old sweet sensation
But it ain’t no used to me, to try and get that feeling
I want to get that feeling again

I’ve been up, down, trying to get the feeling again
I’ve been up, down, trying to get the feeling again
I’ve been up, down, trying to get the feeling again
Trying to get the feeling again

THE COLOR OF FRIENDSHIP

Once upon a time the colors of the world started to quarrel. All
claimed that they were the best. The most important. The most useful.
The favorite.

Green said:
"Clearly I am the most important. I am the sign of life and of hope. I
was chosen for grass, trees and leaves. Without me, all animals would
die. Look over the countryside and you will see that I am in the
majority."

Blue interrupted:
"You only think about the earth, but consider the sky and the sea. It
is the water that is the basis of life and drawn up by the clouds from
the deep sea. The sky gives space and peace and serenity. Without my
peace, you would all be nothing."

Yellow chuckled:
"You are all so serious. I bring laughter, gaiety, and warmth into the
world. The sun is yellow, the moon is yellow, the stars are yellow.
Every time you look at a sunflower, the whole world starts to smile.
Without me there would be no fun."

Orange started next to blow her trumpet:
"I am the color of health and strength. I may be scarce, but I am
precious for I serve the needs of human life. I carry the most
important vitamins. Think of carrots, pumpkins, oranges, mangoes, and
papayas. I don't hang around all the time, but when I fill the sky at
sunrise or sunset, my beauty is so striking that no one gives another
thought to any of you."

Red could stand it no longer he shouted out:
"I am the ruler of all of you. I am blood - life's blood! I am the
color of danger and of bravery. I am willing to fight for a cause. I
bring fire into the blood. Without me, the earth would be as empty as
the moon. I am the color of passion and of love, the red rose, the
poinsettia and the poppy."

Purple rose up to his full height:
He was very tall and spoke with great pomp: "I am the color of royalty
and power. Kings, chiefs, and bishops have always chosen me for I am
the sign of authority and wisdom. People do not question me! They
listen and obey."

Finally Indigo spoke, much more quietly than all the others, but with
just as much determination:
"Think of me. I am the color of silence. You hardly notice me, but
without me you all become superficial. I represent thought and
reflection, twilight and deep water. You need me for balance and
contrast, for prayer and inner peace."

And so the colors went on boasting, each convinced of his or her own
superiority. Their quarreling became louder and louder. Suddenly there
was a startling flash of bright lightening thunder rolled and boomed.
Rain started to pour down relentlessly. The colors crouched down in
fear, drawing close to one another for comfort.

In the midst of the clamor, God began to speak:
"You foolish colors, fighting amongst yourselves, each trying to
dominate the rest. Don't you know that you were each made for a
special purpose, unique and different? Join hands with one another and
come to me."

Doing as they were told, the colors united and joined hands.

God continued:
"From now on, when it rains, each of you will stretch across the sky
in a great bow of color as a reminder that you can all live in peace.
The Rainbow is a sign of hope for tomorrow." And so, whenever a good
rain washes the world, and a Rainbow appears in the sky, let us
remember to appreciate one another.

THINGS YOU NEVER KNEW YOUR CELLPHONE COULD DO...

There are a few things that can be done in times of grave emergencies.
Your mobile phone can actually be a life saver or an emergency tool for
survival. Check out the things that you can do with it:
*I*
* The Emergency Number worldwide for **Mobile** is 112.* If you find
yourself out of coverage area of your mobile network and there is an
emergency, dial 112 and the mobile will search any existing network to
establish the emergency number for you, and interestingly this number 112

can be dialed even if the keypad is locked. **Try it out.**
*II*
* Subject: Have you locked your keys in the car? Does you car have remote

keys?*
This may come in handy someday. Good reason to own a cell phone:
If you lock your keys in the car and the spare keys are at home, call
someone at home on their cell phone from your cell phone.
Hold your cell phone about a foot from your car door and have the
person
at your home press the unlock button, holding it near the mobile phone on

their end. Your car will unlock. Saves someone from having to drive your
keys to you. Distance is no object. You could be hundreds of miles away,
and if you can reach someone who has the other "remote" for your car, you

can unlock the doors (or the trunk).
Editor's Note: *It works fine! We tried it out and it unlocked our car
over a cell phone!"*
*III*
Subject: Hidden Battery power
Imagine your cell battery is very low , you are expecting an important
call
and you don't have a charger. Nokia instrument comes with a reserve
battery. To activate, press the keys *3370# Your cell will restart with
this reserve and the instrument will show a 50% increase in battery. This

reserve will get charged when you charge your cell next time.
AND
*IV*
How to disable a STOLEN mobile phone?
To check your Mobile phone's serial number, key in the following digits
on
your phone:
* # 0 6 #
A 15 digit code will appear on the screen. This number is unique to your
handset. Write it down and keep it somewhere safe. when your phone get
stolen, you can phone your service provider and give them this code. They

will then be able to block your handset so even if the thief changes the
SIM card, your phone will be totally useless.
You probably won't get your phone back, but at least you know that
whoever
stole it can't use/sell it either.
If everybody does this, there would be no point in people stealing mobile

phones.
Please spread this useful information around

A Day Without Filipinos

Let's imagine then, not just California, but the entire world, waking up one day to discover Filipinos have disappeared. I'm talking here about the six or seven million Filipinos currently working overseas in countries with names that run the entire alphabet, from Angola to Zimbabwe .

Let's not worry first about why or how the Filipinos disappeared; in fact, it becomes academic whether it's a day or a week. Just imagine a world without Filipinos.

Think of the homes that are dependent on Filipino housekeepers, nannies, caregivers. The homes would be chaotic as kids cry out for their nannies. Hong Kong and Singaporean and Taiwanese yuppie couples are now forced to stay home and realizing, goodness, there's so much of housework that has to be handled and how demanding their kids can be and hey, what's this strange language they're babbling in?

It's not just the children that are affected. The problems are even more serious with the elderly in homes and nursing institutions, because Filipino caregivers have provided so much of the critical services they need. When temporary contractual workers are brought in from among non-Filipinos, the elderly complain. They want their Filipino caregivers back because they have that special touch, that extra patience and willingness to stay an hour more when needed.


Hospitals, too, are adversely affected because so many of the disappeared Filipinos were physicians, nurses and other health professionals. All appointments for rehabilitation services, from children with speech problems to stroke survivors, are indefinitely postponed because of disappeared speech pathologists, occupational and physical therapists!


Eventually, the hospital administrators announce they won't take in any more patients unless the conditions are serious. Patients are told to follow their doctors' written orders and, if they have questions, to seek advice on several Internet medical sites. But within two days, the hospitals are swamped with new complaints. The web sites aren't working because of missing Filipino web designers and web site managers.

Service establishments throughout the world -- restaurants, supermarkets, hotels -- all close down because of their missing key staff involved in management and maintenance. In Asia , hotels complain about the missing bands and singers.

In the United States , many commercial establishments have to close shop, not just because of the missing Filipino sales staff but because their suppliers have all been sending in notices about delays in shipments. Yup, the shipping industry has gone into a crisis because of missing Filipino seafarers.


The shipping firms begin to look into the emergency recruitment of non-Filipino seafarers but then declare another crisis: They're running out of supplies of oil for their ships because the Middle Eastern countries have come to a standstill without their Filipino workers, including quite a few working for the oil industry.

Frantic presidents and prime ministers call on the United Nations to convene a special session of the Security Council but Kofi Annan says he can't do that because the UN system itself is on the edge, with so many of their secretarial and clerical staff, as well as translators, having disappeared from their main headquarters in New York and Geneva, as well as their regional offices throughout the world. Quite a number of UN services, especially refugee camps, are also in danger of closing down because of missing Filipino health professionals and teachers.

Annan also explains that he can't convene UN meetings because the airports in New York , Washington and other major US cities have been shut down. The reason? The disappeared Filipinos included quite a few airport security personnel who used to check passengers and their baggage.

Annan calls on the World Bank and international private foundations for assistance but they're crippled, too, because their Filipino consultants and staff are nowhere to be seen. Funds can't be remitted and projects can't run without the technical assistance provided for by Filipinos.

An exasperated Annan calls on religious leaders to pray, and pray hard. But when he phones the Pope, he is told the Catholic Church, too, is in crisis because the disappeared include the many Filipino priests and nuns in Rome who help run day-to-day activities, as well as missionaries in the front lines of remote posts, often the only ones providing basic social services.

As they converse, Annan and the Pope agree on one thing: the world has become a quieter place since the Filipinos disappeared. It isn't just the silencing of work and office equipment formerly handled by Filipinos; no, it seems there's much less laughter now that the Filipinos aren't around, both the laughter of the Filipinos and those they served.

I know, I know, I'm exaggerating the contributions of Filipinos to the world but I'm doing what the producers of "A Day without Mexicans" had in mind: using a bit of hyperbole to shake people up.


As their blurb for the film goes: "How do you make the invisible, visible? Make them invisible."

As I wrote this column, I did realize I was doing this not so much for the Hong Kong Chinese and Taiwanese and Singaporeans and Americans who don't appreciate us enough, than for us, who as Filipinos, are pretty good at putting ourselves down, at making ourselves invisible.

Enjoy, Be Pinoy; Bahala na si Batman

MANILA, Philippines -- Pinoy is what Filipinos call each other, a term
of endearment. You're Pinoy from Pilipino just like you're tisoy from
mestizo or chinoy from chino.

It's a nickname just as Minoy is from Maximo, Ninoy from Benigno,
Tinay from Florentina and Kikay from Francisca. But now they're Maxi
and Ben and Tintin and Cheska.

You've been called indio, goo-goo, Negro, flip, noypits. Or Filipino,
a biscuit that is brown outside and white inside, or a word stricken
from the dictionary which means domestic. Ay, lintik!

You're Juan de la Cruz or Mang Pandoy. You're common tao, masa, urban
poor but also Cecile Licad and Don Jaime, Jose Rizal and Tony Meloto,
Shawie and Pacquiao and Nick Joaquin, galing galing.

Born June 12, 1896, the Republic of the RP is a Gemini, good at
connecting, good at loving-loving, good at texting and interpersonal
skills.

Filipinos like to yakap, akbay, hawak, kalong, kalabit. We sleep side
by side, siping-siping, we go out kabit kabit.

There's lots of us to go around. Someone always to listen to a sob
story, even in a jeepney, to share-a-load or to share a TV.

Everyone's tito, tita

Who has a hipag, a bayaw, a bilas, a balae, a kinakapatid? Who has an
ate, dete, diche, kuya, diko? The maids call her ate, the driver calls
him kuya and everybody is tito or tita.

Who has a Lola Baby, a Tito Totoy, a bosing called Sir Peewee, his
wife Ma'am Lovely and their kids Cla Cla and Cring Cring?

The Pinoy lives in a condo, a mansion, an apartment, a bahay na bato,
ilalim ng tulay, Luneta, Forbes Park, and Paris too!

He's a citizen of the world, he's in all the villages and capitals,
colonizing the West, bringing his guitar and his bagoong, his walis na
tingting, his tabo, his lolo and lola.

Where there's a beat, there's a Pinoy. You'll find her singing in a
nightclub in Tokyo, a musical in London, the Opera House in Sydney.
Sure, they've got the infrastructure, the theaters and architecture.
Who but Pinoys direct their plays, or trains their company managers,
and imports our teachers, by the way?

Viagra to Victoria's Secret

Look at that baggage-all pasalubong, none for herself. From bedsheet
to hair color, Toblerone to carpet, Viagra to paella pan, Victoria's
Secret to microwave.

Hey, Joe, don't envy me 'cause I'm brown, you'll get ultra violet from
that sun and turn red not brown.

Just lucky, I guess. God put us all in the oven, but some were
uncooked and some were burned, but me, I came out golden brown!

Hey, Kristoff! Hey David and Ann! Your Pinoy yaya makes your kids
gentler, more obedient, she teaches them how to pray. Hey Big Brother!
Hey Grandma Moses! Who but Pinoy nurses make your sick days easier all
the way?

We made the jeepney, the karaoke, the fluorescent bulb, the moon
buggy. We invented People Power and crispy pata; popularized virgin
coconut oil, scaled the Everest and made it with Cebu furniture abroad
among the best. Ever trying for the Guinness World Record-with the
longest swim of a child, the longest kiss, the longest longanisa.

Linguist

The Pinoy is a linguist. As in. As if. For a while. Open the light.
Close the light. Paki ganyan naman ang kuwan sa ano. Tuck in. Tuck
out. Don't be high blood. If you're ready na, I'll pass for you.

Hayop; Hanep! Bongga ka 'day, feel na feel kita, kilig to the bones
ako. Don't make wala, don't make tampo. Taralets na, babes, let's go,
nababato na ang syota mo.

I'm inviting you to my party, please RSVP. Oo means "yes" or "maybe,"
or "yes if you insist," or "maybe if it doesn't rain."

"Yes" is also a nice way of saying "no." Yes, hindi kita sisiputin.
"No," eto na ako at ang barkada ko. Please don't ask a Pinoy a
question like that!

Just flows

She's not so exact, not so chop-chop, she just flows and flows.
Filipino time? Naku, huli din naman ang Kano!

The Pinoy finds time to be nice, to be kind, to apologize, to be there
when you're depressed, to help you with your utang and your wedding
dress.

The Filipino is a giver, never mind what it does to his liver, never
mind what it takes. Hardships of the Third World don't dry up his
blood, they just make him more compassionate, more feeling, of the
other guy's lot.

Note that the maid sends all her wages home to ailing daddy. She is
the OCW whose labor of loneliness created the original katas ng Saudi.

'Bahala na'

The Filipino is fearless, bahala na si Batman, which actually means
Bathala na or "leave all to God." Okay lang if I die by bitay, okay
lang if I live, okay lang if I survive by the skin of my teeth.

Saway ni Inay: Di ka naman Bill Gates, di ka naman French, mahirap
nang magbuhat ng sarili mong bench.

Be Pinoy! Enjoy!

Singh Jokes

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his neighbor, a Singh,
came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. He opened it,
looked inside, slammed it shut, and stormed back into his house.
A little later he came out of his house again, looking nervous, went
to the mailbox, again opened it, and slammed it shut again.
Angrily, back into the house he went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here our Singh came
again,looking very heated up. He marched to the mailbox, opened it and
then slammed it shut harder than ever.
Puzzled by his actions, the man asked him,"Is something wrong?"
To which the ferocious Singh replied, " There certainly is! My stupid
computer keeps telling me I have mail!"
============ ========= =====
One Singh was enjoying the sun at the beach in America . A lady came
asked him, "Are you relaxing?" Singh answered, " No, I am Banta Singh."
Another guy came and asked him the same question. Singh answered, "No No Me Banta Singh!"
Third one came and asked him the same question again. Singh was
totally annoyed and decided to shift his place.
While walking he saw another Singh soaking in the sun. He went up to
him and asked, "Are you Relaxing?" The other Singh was a lot more
educated and answered, "Yes, I am relaxing."
The Singh slapped him on his face and said, Stupid, idiot. Everyone is
looking for you and you are sitting over here!"
============ ========= ========= =======
A Singh died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gate Saint
Peter told him that new rules were in effect due to the advances in
education on earth. In order to gain admittance a prospective heavenly
soul must answer two questions:
1. Name two days of the week that begin with "T"
2. How many seconds are in a year?
The Singh thought for a few minutes and answered...
1. The two days of the week that begin with "T" are Today and Tomorrow.
2. There are 12 seconds in a year.
Saint Peter said, "OK, I'll buy the Today and Tomorrow answer, even
though it's not the answer I expected. But how did you get 12 seconds in a year?"
The Singh replied, "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd,
etc..."
Saint Peter lets him in without another word.
============ ========= ========= =======
Jasmeet Kaur caught her husband Santa Singh searching high and low all around his living room.
Jasmeet: "What are you searching for?"
Santa: "Hidden cameras!"
Jasmeet: "And what makes you think that there are hidden cameras here?"
Santa: "That guy on TV knows exactly what I am doing. Why every few
minutes he keeps saying 'You are watching the Star World channel'.
How does he know that?"
============ ========= ========= ========
Having lost his donkey a Singh, got down to his knees and started
thanking God. A passerby saw him and asked, "Your donkey is missing;
what are you thanking God for?"
The Singh replied "I am thanking Him for seeing to it that I wasn't
riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I would have been missing too."
============ ========= ========= ======
Sardar Gurbachan Singh is appearing for his University final examination.
He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question
paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his shoes off and throws them out of the window.
He then removes his turban and throws it away as well. His shirt, pant, socks and watch follow suit.
The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on.
"Oye, I am only following the instructions yaar," he says, " it says here, 'Answer the following questions in brief' ."
============ ========= ========= ========= =========
Two Singhs were sitting outside a clinic. One of them was crying like hell.
So the other asked, "Why are you crying?" The first one replied, "I came here for blood test"
Second one asked, "So? Are you afraid ? "
First one replied, " No, not that. During the blood test they cut my finger"
Hearing this the second one started crying. The first one was
astonished and asked other, "Why are you crying?"
The other replied, "I have come for my urine test."
============ ========= ========= =========
A Singh goes to a hotel and eats heartily. After eating he goes to
wash his hands but starts washing the basin instead.
The manager comes running and asks him, "Mr. Singh, what are you
doing?"
To this the man replies, "Oye, see the board here, " Wash Basin ".