ABOUT MARRIAGE...

When a man steals your
wife, there is no better
revenge than to let him
keep her.
Sacha Guitry

After marriage, husband and
wife become two sides of a
coin; they just can't face
each other, but still they
stay together.
Hemant Joshi

By all means marry. If you
get a good wife, you'll be
happy. If you get a bad
one, you'll become a
philosopher.
Socrates

Woman inspires us to great
things, and prevents us
from achieving them.
Dumas

The great question... which
I have not been able to
answer... is, "What does a
woman want?
Sigmund Freud

I had some words with my
wife, and she had some
paragraphs with me.
Anonymous

"Some people ask the secret
of our long marriage. We
take time to go to a
restaurant two times a
week. A little candlelight,
dinner, soft music and
dancing. She goes Tuesdays,
I go Fridays."
Henny Youngman

"I don't worry about
terrorism. I was married
for two years."
Sam Kinison

"There's a way of
transferring funds that is
even faster than electronic
banking. It's called
marriage."
James Holt McGavran

"I've had bad luck with
both my wives. The first
one left me, and the second
one didn't."
Patrick Murray

Two secrets to keep your
marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong,
admit it,
2. Whenever you're right,
shut up.
Nash

The most effective way to
remember your wife's
birthday is to forget it
once...
Anonymous

You know what I did before
I got married? Anything I
wanted to.
Henny Youngman

My wife and I were happy
for twenty years. Then we
met.
Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives
her husband when she's
wrong.
Milton Berle

Marriage is the only war
where one sleeps with the
enemy.
Anonymous

A man inserted an 'ad' in
the classifieds: "Wife
wanted". Next day he
received a hundred letters.
They all said the same
thing: "You can have mine."

Anonymous

First Guy (proudly): "My
wife's an angel!"
Second Guy: "You're lucky,
mine's still alive."