Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Seven wrong ways to be in a relationship

1)Pressure When you make a decision to be with someone because of the pressure you feel (from yourself or others) rather than because the person seems right for you, you are giving your power away and ensuring an unhappy end to your love story.

2)Loneliness and Desperation When you are feeling lonely or desperate, you are much more likely to make poor love choices and end up in unfullfilling relationships. Be much pickier, Don't lower your standards just because you're feeling times are tough. You're not a store trying to get rid of old merchandise that puts it on sale -- You are a valuable, lovable human being who deserves to have the kind of relationship you want, not just the kind you think you can get.

3)Sexual Hunger Do you have a s Sexual Hunger Limit (SHL), a period of time beyond which you feel "something is wrong" because you haven't been sexually active? It's good to know your SHL. YOu might want to put it on your calendar as the time approaches, so you can be careful to avoid getting involved with someone for the wrong reason!

4)Distraction from your own life Some people have relationships because they are bored with the lack of passion and purpose in their lives, and rather than looking within to find out why they feel that way, they get involved in a love affair and make that their purpose. These relationships never work because you aren't in love with the person -- you're in love with the distraction.

5)To avoid growing up Finding someone to take care of you so you don't have to grow up.

6)Guilt You remain in romantic situations not because you want to stay, but because you are afraid of what might happen if you left. When you decide to be with someone out of guilt and not love, you are ripping them and yourself off.

7)To fill up your emotional or spiritual emptiness If you have deep places of emptiness within you, no partner, regardless of how much they love you, will be able to fill that emptiness.

It is fullness that makes a relationship work, not emptiness.

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